


Barnaby Lee's Dilemma

by 11tol_tsukki11



Series: Laurent King's Hogwarts Adventures [14]
Category: Harry Potter - Fandom, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery, Hogwarts Mystery, Video Game: Harry Potter: Hogwarts Mystery - Fandom
Genre: Coming Out, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Abuse, Implied/Referenced Child Abuse, Implied/Referenced Homophobia, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-20
Updated: 2019-06-20
Packaged: 2020-05-15 04:30:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,868
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19288171
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/11tol_tsukki11/pseuds/11tol_tsukki11
Summary: His parents decided everything for him. How he would live his life, who he would love, when he would join the Death Eaters. Barnaby, however, has an entire other plan, and he might just gather the courage to start living his life for him instead of his family.





	Barnaby Lee's Dilemma

Classes were always exhausting for Barnaby Lee, but the only exception was Care of Magical Creatures. Not only Professor Kettleburn was an amazing teacher, but the young Slytherin loved creatures to the point of seriously considering a Magizoologist career. However, these moments of absolute certainty would be quickly shot down as he remembered his father, and his heritage: a Death Eater family, who pledged complete allegiance to the Dark Lord. Even following his defeat to the young Potter and after their imprisonment, Barnaby’s parents would fervently hope for his return, and they swore they’d be at his side... with their son.

Because yes, they already decided how Barnaby’s life would be. A prodigious Death Eater, who could make the most fearless wizard tremble with a single gaze. As soon as he was born, high expectations were placed upon him... but Barnaby disappointed them. He was considered an ‘idiot’, a complete ‘waste of space’. His father would punish him for straying off the path he and his wife created for the young Lee, and Barnaby strayed often from that path. What they wanted to be a cold, ruthless wizard became a kind, sensitive boy. They wouldn’t see how good that was. They would insist for their son to change, using methods that some might not even dare say aloud. Who would even dare to hit their child ? Mr and Mrs.Lee would. Sometimes even Barnaby’s grandma. So whenever he’d consider becoming a magizoologist, he’d attempt to brush that thought away and think of his father’s reaction. That usually did the trick, and he wouldn’t think about that career choice... that is, until the next Care of Magical Creatures classes. He loved it so much.

But it also confused him a lot. Not only it puzzled him over his future career, it made him feel downright lost as he would see his friend in the same class, Laurent Dorian King (’Dorian, like Dorian Gray’, Lau once said to him with a grin. ‘My dad was a sucker for literature’. Barnaby pretended to know who that Gray guy was). That guy would create such an emotional turmoil in Barnaby’s mind, it was almost ridiculous.

It started out slowly. It would be glances, smiles, blushes from Lau that would make Barnaby’s heart skip a beat. He didn’t pay much mind to it at first. After all, maybe he was just excited to make a new friend who didn’t call him an idiot like Merula would. Then, it became more, and more: Barnaby would catch himself staring at him during potions classroom, and for a brief second internally fawn over how cute he looked when concentrated. His eyebrows would be knitted together, and his tongue sightly sticking out of his mouth as he used all of his focus to pour the right ingredients into his cauldron. His old, rusty cauldron since he couldn’t afford a better one. Sometimes, Barnaby almost wanted to give him his clean, shiny one. A few months after, he would start thinking of his friend while he wasn’t even with him. His almost orange hair, always messy, his small nose, his smooth looking skin covered with freckles... even that little scar on his lip. Where did it come from anyway ?

And then, during a hangout at Hogsmeade, while he was comforting Lau in front of The Three Broomsticks, his friend kissed his cheek. His lips were sort of chapped due to the winter cold, but it felt so, so good.

That’s what freaked him out and pushed him to talk less to Lau. Once again, he thought of his father’s reaction, as well as his entire family. No way they would take that. As Barnaby was getting older, his grandma would scope out the area around their house to find suitable witches for him. Needless to say, Barnaby was disinterested. Now that Lau kissed his cheek, he was even more disinterested, however for different reasons. While he did his best to avoid Lau, the young Slytherin would remain in his thoughts. Sometimes that imaginary Lau would do mundane things, such as study and simply practising for his next Quidditch match. But other times, Barnaby would think of Lau... with him. In his arms, close to him, sometimes even in his bed, and he would mentally slap himself before allowing the thoughts to go any further.

Could it be that he liked Lau ?

Liked, as in, more than friends ?

Common sense was speaking over the tiny voice coming from his heart: ‘you can’t do that, your family would beat you up’, ‘What if Lau isn’t interested ? He’d laugh in your face. Plus, you’ve been ignoring him for days !’. This was so... confusing, and Barnaby hated confusing things. He grunted softly and stepped into the Common Room. Ever since Lau left the Decorating Committe in a haste a few hours ago, he’s been sort of... disappointed. Sure, he loved Penny’s company as well as the other’s, but he would have liked to try and sort things out with Lau once the meeting was over. He tried looking for him, but to no avail...

Until now. At first, he thought the Common Room was empty, but it turned out that Lau was here, sitting on the couch, an orchid tucked behind his ear, making him look as cute as ever. Barnaby felt a shiver run through his body. Suddenly, Lau turned his face towards him. Fuck ! He saw him looking at him ! Barnaby felt himself blushing... and he noticed that Lau’s cheeks were a nice shade of pink too.

“Hey” his friend ended up saying.

Barnaby froze. That was the first time they spoke since a few days.

“H-Hey...” he replied. “You left the Decorating Committee pretty quick... was it that boring ?”

He moved to sit down next to Lau, who giggled softly.

“No, I just felt dizzy. I’m... feeling better now. Sorta”

“Sorta ?”

Without thinking, Barnaby pressed the back of his hand against Lau’s forehead, sightly brushing away a few strands of hair.

“Maybe you’re sick ?”

Lau gently removed his hand, touching his wrist. Barnaby’s heart skipped a beat again.

“I’m not. I’m just...”

He shifted in his seat, as if uncomfortable. For a moment, Barnaby feared he was the cause of that discomfort.

“Diego Caplan asked me to the Ball. Like, an hour ago I’d say”

It took a while for Barnaby to fully register. Diego Caplan. Lau’s new friend. Someone Barnaby actually felt jealous over... because Lau seemed to like him. Man, that should have been a big clue that he might like his friend a little more than intended.

“L-Like, as your date ?” he ended up asking.

Lau nodded. Barnaby felt dread.

“And... w-what did you say ?”

Diego actually had the courage to ask Lau out, even though they were both men. Unlike Barnaby, he didn’t get afraid and backed up. He went forward instead, and now, he probably scored a date with Laurent King, the most adorable guy in Hogwarts... according to Barnaby, although the Slytherin was indeed fairly attractive.

Lau sunk in his seat, blushing brightly, biting his lip.

“I... I ran away”

“What !?”

Lau groaned and covered his face with his hands.

“Don’t make me say it again ! I already feel like shit enough ! I ran away, I panicked ! I mean, yeah, Diego’s nice and I like him, but... not like that ! A-And even if I did, we’re... guys, you know”

He removed his hands from his face and suddenly turned to Barnaby, looking at him. Too close, Barnaby thought as he could almost feel his breath against his face.

“Usually, guys date girls, no ? At least that’s what my father says. He’s... pretty vocal about it, too, and-”

“Mine too” Barnaby blurted out.

He didn’t even mean to say that. It just happened. It made Lau quiet for a moment... then he sighed.

“Barnaby... I don’t want you to judge me. Or stop talking to me. Or anything like that...”

Barnaby frowned, looking at his visibly distressed and confused friend.

“I’d never do that, Lau. Not even in my dreams”

“You did, though. You stopped talking to me ever since I kissed your cheek. That was simply out of gratitude, you know” Lau replied with a bitter voice.

Fuck !

“I... you know my parents, I’m n-not used to that sort of thing”

Luckily, Lau seemed to buy that excuse, and he took a deep breath before staring at Barnaby again.

“I... I think I like men. Girls, too, but... also men”

Silence. Without being aware of it, Lau just gave Barnaby an immense amount of relief. He was so afraid that Lau wouldn’t like men ! And now he was saying it, right in front of his face ! Barnaby almost wanted to cup his face and ki- no.

“A-ah ?” he simply said.

Idiot. Lau bit on his lip, and nodded.

“Yeah... I’ve been thinking about it since a few weeks. And now that Diego asked me out... it made me realize that it’s... ok, you know ? I can like men. I just need to not care about anyone’s opinion...”

But that was easier said than done. After all, homophobia wasn’t an unknown word to Lau. He definitely knew what it was, and what dangers were linked to it. And he was terrified. Barnaby could see that terror in his eyes. He was trying to look confident, but his eyes betrayed him.

“W-Well... it’s about taking your time, I guess” Barnaby ended up saying. “You’ll.. end up being more confident”

“So do you think I should accept Diego’s offer ? Go to the Celestial Ball with him ?”

“NO !” Barnaby suddenly exclaimed, a bit louder than he intended.

He immediately wanted to slap himself. Lau stared at him, raising an eyebrow... and sighed.

“You’re right. I can’t go with him if I don’t like him the same way he likes me... I’d be hurting him”

And suddenly, without a warning, Lau slid closer to Barnaby, pressing his cheek on his muscular shoulder, resting against him. Their hands were a few inches from each other.

“It feels good... I mean, to tell you all this. And to talk to you again... I was afraid you didn’t want to be my friend anymore”

“I would never want that, Lau” Barnaby said with absolute honesty.

He didn’t even notice that, now, their fingers were intertwined together. When did that happen... ? He didn’t want to ponder over that. He felt so good, so comfortable with Lau against his shoulder...

“Good...” Lau whispered, “because I don’t want that either... I’m your Puffskein, remember ?”

Barnaby giggled. Puffskein. The nickname he gave him in their second year because of his fluffy hair.

“I’m never leaving my Puffskein behind...” he breathed out.

He thought about holding him. Kissing him. And this time, he didn’t banish these thoughts. But he didn’t act on them either. A few minutes later, Lau fell asleep against him, and Barnaby refused to move, not wanting to accidentally wake him up. He simply stayed here, with him, in the Slytherin Common Room.

He’s never leaving Lau, ever.

But can he ever love him properly ? Without fear ? Can he even ask him to be his date for the Celestial Ball ? Again, without fear ?

**Author's Note:**

> Hope you enjoyed this one ! Feel free to tell me what you think of the series ! <3


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